To feel ‘better’ you have to ‘better feel’

To feel ‘better’ you have to ‘better feel’

Its only natural to ride a wave through our lives. There are some times we feel total excitement, joy and fun and others when we really do not, we feel scared apprehensive, pent up or even other feelings like sadness, guilt or downright depressed.

Its not the emotion or state that is the problem here. Our culture is so set on setting us up for being in a permanent state of being on it or up or looking good, feeling good that we feel slightly abnormal if we feel anything other than this. Or worse, we pretend to feel all these cultural ideals and bury any other feeling that might compromise it. And so we usually end up ditching all the uncomfortable feelings in favour of the fun and buzzy ones. (And use whatever we can food/distractions or otherwise to help keep us in this state).

Emotions are like children they just want to be acknowledged

Fran Stockley

Cant we just change our state?

Yes we can-our state can be changed at any time by diverting our attention to a different thought that brings about a different emotion. What I am taking about though is a re occurring thought or emotion that we might not be giving ourselves time to explore. A feeling that comes up time and again. Its usually one we have a hunch about already.

The courage to go there

All our emotions want is to be felt-really honoured as another beautiful part of ourselves without judgement, distraction or analysis. Just the feeling. Its up to us to have the courage to go there, to feel how we truly are.

Afraid to fall

I remember a time when I had no idea how I really felt because I had tried to plough on through all sorts of events without stopping to really feel how I truly was. In truth I was feeling scared, lonely and totally fraught and I was even more afraid to actually feel any of these emotions in case I never came out of them and fell into a big black whole. I was favouring numbing out rather than investigating a path that would take me to a greater connection with myself, my life and my overall experience of health.

Once I finally allowed myself to feel this emotion it felt very messy! But I gave myself permission to feel the intensity and pain I was carrying. What happened was the hidden distress I was in over the avoidance of my emotion completely dissipated. And this was in a matter of hours-I remember just sitting there, no TV, no food, no phone, as little thoughts as possible and very little judgement. My feelings began to lift and I began to feel lighter and refreshed having released this trapped energy. On the other side of this I felt closer and more connected to myself, I distinctly remember feeling like I was more comfortable in my own skin.

Ways to start feeling what you have been putting off

  • Make some time and space in your diary to just sit-create a blank canvas with no distractions.
  • Whatever emotion you feel give yourself permission to take any judgement away
  • Let it be as messy as it needs to be (I mean really!)
  • Know it will pass, just as it does in a child, watch it pass through you
  • Know that you are not your emotion it is just something you are experiencing
  • You dont need to go into the story of why, what, how and lots of analysis just feel the feeling (you can do analysis paralysis later if you really, really want to )
  • Know that you are here and it is ok

On the other side of this is a greater expression of you, a deeper feeling of connection to yourself, oh and a heap more energy to be at your most radiant.

I promise you its ok to go there.

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